'They wouldn't even notice I'm gone': Man cuts off contact with family after being excluded from sister's wedding

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    "I'm done with them"
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    My family wouldn't let me attend my siblings so now I will cut contact with them. weddings
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    I think it would be easy to mention that I was never the family's favorite. I know there's a stereotype that the youngest sibling gets the most affection from the parents. Maybe it only applies to my family, but that's a complete lie. And I also know why my family treats me like that. They make no secret of it.
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    I wasn't a wanted child for the simple reason that my parents only wanted a boy and a girl. So two children and no more. The fact that I was then born as a second son didn't fit into their family's predetermined picture. For this reason, I was always ignored at birthdays. I wasn't
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    even allowed to be in family photos because they wanted to give the impression that their picture-book family was the way they had imagined it. They never let go of this image. And just as an aside. Compared to my siblings, my parents punished me much more severely for little things. My sister once
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    stole money and was grounded for a week, while I was beaten up for leaving my room at night. I put up with it over the years because even though my parents didn't really pay attention to me, I always had a good relationship with my siblings. When my
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    eldest brother got married a few years ago, I was still a minor and even though I was offended, I wasn't allowed to attend the wedding on the grounds that it would be a child-free wedding. I was 15 at the time and no doubt there would have been no reason not to let me attend.
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    Even though I was hurt that I was the only one not allowed to attend, I accepted it. I'm now 19 and my sister wants to get married. She gave birth to a daughter last fall and she and her partner wanted to get married. I was
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    really looking forward to the wedding and bought myself a nice suit. At some point, however, I received a message from my sister that I couldn't come to the wedding because they also wanted to have a child-free wedding and they needed someone to look after their daughter, my niece.
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    I knew that wasn't true as they had a babysitter. Said babysitter was a friend of hers who wanted to earn some extra money while she studied. When I pointed this out to her, she explained that the babysitter didn't have time because she had to study. Which was also a lie, by the
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    way, as I had previously sent the babysitter a friend request on Facebook and she even wrote a post on the day of the wedding saying that she was enjoying her day off. I asked her if she had anyone else who could look after the child as I really
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    wanted to be there after missing my brother's wedding. Suddenly she got angry and told me I was being selfish and if I was a good brother I would say yes without argument and if I didn't say yes I wouldn't be allowed to come to the wedding under any circumstances. It felt
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    like a punch in the stomach. I couldn't understand why she didn't want me at the wedding. In the end I agreed, but still contacted my parents again. They also told me not to be so selfish, as the day wasn't about me and my sister was deciding the guest list anyway. Then
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    I also realized for the first time that my attendance was never planned from the beginning because I was the only one who didn't get an invitation. Yesterday was the wedding and I cried when I saw all the photos posted in the WhatsApp family group. Everyone had a great time.
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    Even when my sister dropped her daughter off at my place and I wanted to give her my wedding present, she didn't even give me a glance. She didn't even say thank you. Neither for the present nor for babysitting. I want out of this family. I love them but I can't stand being
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    treated like this any longer. I'm about to be promoted at my homeoffice job and when that happens I'm going to move far away and break off contact. They'll have the image of their perfect family back that I ruined and I'll have my peace. A win-win situation for both sides.
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    Tom_A_F. 16 hr. ago Just keep looking forward to the day you'll be rid of them and never look back. Maybe change your last name, too.
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    Scared Search_9029 OP 14 hr. ago · I thought about that. Do you think I should leave a message?
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    ScreamingSicada · 14 hr. ago What's the point? Seriously, what are you hoping to accomplish with a message? What would you say? What would you do after?
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    Scared Search_9029 OP 14 hr. ago The only reason I would leave a message is to make sure that if someone would care enough to search for me that no one tries to find me or files a missing report.
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    realityboresme - 13 hr. ago You can contact your local police force so they know that you are leaving of your own accord and that you aren't really missing.
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    yellsy 13 hr. ago This is so Disney villain cruel it almost sounds made up. I'm really sorry Op. Leave these horrible people being you and please get some therapy. One day you'll marry and have your own family who loves you.
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    bambina821 13 hr. ago I would leave a message, NOT for their sake, but for yours. You need closure.
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    jospangel 16 hr. ago That family is not perfect in any way. You are not the problem, you are the scapegoat. Been there and it soks.
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    Amelora 12 hr. ago I feel like this might be the reason behind not wanting OP at the wedding. If the family had cut him out of photos for years then explaining how they suddenly had an adult 3rd kid would destroy the perfect family image more than and 3 child photo would.
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    Also if Reddit had taught me anything their is probably something off about his birth, other than just being an unwanted pregnancy - affair child, actually a cousin, illegitimate in some other way - because it seems super weird that no other family member said anything about their chronically missing third child.
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    KeaAware 15 hr. ago Fly and be free, friend. Leave them behind. And don't let them back into your life when things become awesome (you deserve awesome).
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    blurtlebaby 15 hr. ago I'm a 60+ year old grandmother who has always been the family scapegoat. I went NC with them several years ago. It has been a great relief. Here's a grandma hug from one scapegoat to another if you want it. Go and live your best life.
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    No_Astronaut2795 · 15 hr. ago Let that be the last time they ever make you feel unwanted or unloved. Cut them off and live your life with people that make you happy. You got this op!

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